Sunday, December 3, 2006

When Park Avenue moves to the hood.

Oooooh baby! Vicky's moves in up the street at the Atlantic Center. Now I can buy my diamond push up bras without having to go into town. I remember when the Atlantic Center was a full square block of dirt and parked cars owned by LIRR employees. The rumors flew around Fort Greene about what would be built when the mall finally opened. A movie theater would be great! How about a bookstore? Yeah, I heard Barnes and Nobel's was going to be there for sure. Well, with the exception of Target (whose entrance is not on the Fort Greene neighborhood side, ensuring that it is not in fact a real neighborhood store) everything else in this new mall is a real bomb. Chuck-e-Cheese (or "Chunky Cheese's" as I've had strangers on the street ask me for directions to), Mandee's and the Men's Warehouse were not exactly what anyone I know here was hoping for. I admit I was excited for the Stone Cold Creamery to open, and even a bit giddy to discover that the forty three teenagers behind the counter periodically break into song when the mood strikes them. But then after about the third time I purchased my small I like it sized cup of oatmeal cookie and found myself visiting the bathroom several times too many the following day, I realized that the love affair had come to an end.
Now there is another rumor flying around the hood. Word on the street is that a 7-11 is planned on opening in place of the dry cleaners on Lafayette and S. Cumberland, directly across the street from the beloved Lafayette Grocery & Dairy. When I heard the news I thought it must be a joke. A 7-11 in our neighborhood? On this beautiful street filled with historic brownstones and smoke filled chimneys? Isn't there some kind of law against such blasphemy?

I can't say I don't entirely believe that it's possible. Recently a restaurant who shall remain nameless so that I don't face any type of libel suit has moved in right next to our beloved Academy diner. All this new place sells is burgers and fries, except that if you want to buy a burger and fries at this new place, it will cost you almost $10 instead of half that amount if you just walked into Academy instead. The staff at Academy are friendly as can be and the food is as tasty as any good old Greek diner fare. All I have to say about this new $10 place is THE NERVE of some people. Actually, the other thing I have to say about all of these new developments is contained in the title of this entry. A while back on a local message board a new neighborhood tenant asked for advice about a neighbor who played loud music on the street. Another poster replied, "That's what you get when Park Avenue moves to the hood". It was by far the best post I had read on this message board where people are friendly and generally non-confrontational. It's always good when someone is not afraid to shake things up and tell it like it is. I met the poster of this great line a couple of weeks ago and ran into her again today. I fessed up to remembering her post and then realized that perhaps it was another case of Violette-Crumle-foot-in-mouthitis as she simply stared ahead and said that may have been her. Oh well, I never claimed to be entirely diplomatic.

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